8 [S1 E8] Diane
/An interview with Diane Wheaton, a fellow adoptee who is in reunion with her biological mother. We talk about letting go of the idealized picture of reunion and some hard truths about the seemingly permanent place of unsettledness and ambivalence Diane has come to.
Show Notes
Topics We Discussed
Born in 1956 in California, relinquished and placed in foster care until 2.5 months
Grew up with one adopted younger brother
Bio-parents were engaged (possibly married)
Searching for birthmother - Salvation Army Hospitals opened records and assisted search and reunion
Her first phone call with her birthmother
Discovering her birthmother has other relinquished children
Meeting her siblings and first cousins
The honeymoon stage and then letting go of the fantasy of reunion
What reunion looks like now; more friendly and surface-level relationships
The difficulty of building relationships in reunion when you don't have shared childhoods/experiences
Movie "Antwone Fisher" (2002)
Birthmother still keeping her a secret from some extended family
Feeling ambivalent about the state of being adopted vs being an adoptee, the intermingling of joy and grief, coming to terms that the unsettled feelings may be permanent
Choosing to do a DNA search for biological father
Advice to us about slowing down in reunion; reflecting on your emotions during reunion
Feeling grounded and rooted once she met her birth family
Therapy and reading as healing tools
Recommended Resources
"What We Mean When We Say Adoption Reunion" by Karen Pickell
The An-Ya Project: Check Facebook or www.anyaproject.com to find the list of books available. Diane's contribution is found in "Flip the Script: Adult Adoptee Anthology".
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- Diane Wheaton: Twitter | Instagram
- Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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