Katie Jae Naftzger, LICSW discusses why adoptees can hold themselves back from becoming successful. Why do we feel like we’re not worth that much, that we don’t have value to bring to the table? How can we manage our insecurity?

Show Notes

Full episode transcript here.

Topics We Discussed

More Than Words (MTWYouth) Bookstore in Massachusetts that employs youth in foster care and mentors them with real life business skills.
Katie has written a book (Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years) and they are planning a launch party. Katie explores why she couldn’t get excited.
An adoptive parent once said to Katie, “adoptees are a dime a dozen”. This person was educated, passionate about adoptee issues and yet said this so dismissively.
Sometimes we can feel like we’re not worth that much, that we don’t have value to bring to the table, that who we are as people isn’t special or unique or interesting in some way
How can we get to the other place of acknowledging that we are NOT a dime a dozen?
Even wanting to challenge that stereotype, Katie is launching this book and is feeling insecure. “I really shouldn’t be doing this book” “I shouldn’t stand out”
“You’re just another adoptee, what do you think you’re doing?”
Managing insecurity can take a lot of effort and energy
In childhood, we are depending on the kindness of strangers that we hoped would take care of us. We can feel like we’re begging to be taken care of or begging to be loved. It can feel risky to think we deserve something.
Don’t chastise, judge, criticize or ignore the part of us that’s insecure…we need to integrate that: acknowledge it but don’t cater to it.
The need to get her message out overpowered the feelings of insecurity/inner critic. Those feelings don’t get to make the final call!
We are more than just adoptees. We’re adoptees that bring a lot to the table. We’re interesting and complex.
Katie’s new book: Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years